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• Network Computing 05Q2--See it On-Demand (ADV)
15 May 2005 at 12:08am
Watch Sun CEO and President/COO discuss Smarter Options for the Smarter Enterprise. See the On-Demand video now.
http://ad.doubleclick.net/clk;15865747;11269323;n?http://www.sun.com/nc05q2
• Louisa May Alcott's American Girls
15 May 2005 at 12:08am
The Library of America edition replaces the familiar 1880 text of "Little Women" with the pluckier original. What took everybody so long? Copyright: Copyright 2005 The New York Times Company
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• Stupid New bill in Ohio says that women who use tampons are engaged in "...
15 May 2005 at 12:05am
(AVN)
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• Testing time as anti-doping laws get tougher
14 May 2005 at 10:45pm
(UK) Britain's leading sportsmen and women will have to nominate one hour every day.[$drug_related(50%), $illegal_drugs(50%), $drugs(90%), $various_drugs(90%), $various_illegal_drugs(50%)]
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• [apathetictruth2] -154-
14 May 2005 at 8:36pm
++And there it is, the limo. She faked sanity and sent Devon out to do some bill paying and Bel is out cold on painmeds from his testiment of love, but she is still very insane. She figures there is no point to this meeting other then tieing up loose ends so she enters the limo with a heavy heart and head. She is covered completely from head to toe, her scrolls finished about four am last night as she carved Bels name across her heart. She takes her seat inside the limo and meekly looks down at the floor. She feels like a little girl. Awkward and ashamed++ "I dunno what he wants with me, I have nothing to say, nothing to discuss. I'm dying soon, why can't it be left alone. Still, this is my job, no matter how much of a failure I am at it, I have to make Thog proud although I'm sure he is disgusted with me and that makes me ill. I'm letting everybody down but it's over...." "I know they all think I'm being childish but this is what I believe. What I feel i deserve. But they can't understand. Nobody understands. Not even Bel. All they are worried about is what they want, nobody cares. Yet somehow, someway, they expect me too. Why? Why should I care when no one else does. All Bel cared about was him and how he'd feel. It took me having to tell him I almost died to change his tune...that isn't love, thats infatuation, Loco was right, he doesn't love me, he just loves who he is when he is with me. Blade just probably wants to fuck me or he needs my contacts for something. Thats how the story goes. Take take take, steal steal steal, I keep giving but what have I ever really gotten in return? Sure I have had a hand in destroying my credibility but I'm still a human being do I not deserve praise and respect? Am I not good enough? Is all I have ever been a servant? I don't know why this is so hard to understand...all I ever asked for was respect, I was willing to risk my relationship with Bel in order to make him prove it to himself that he was good. But I never asked them to compromise their loyalties. I could tolerate this from Blade, expect it from Blade but not Bel..." "Not the man who laid my body in bed and kissed and licked places other men only dream of. Not Bel, not the man who stared me in my eyes in the early morning light and swore he would never betray me. Not Bel, not the man who struck me down to level the playing field and asked for us to be equals...is this an equal....dare I say my opponents may genuinely understand the basis of what Belnard did better then he does...the enemys of my friends, are in turn my equals...my world upside down. There is no talking me out of this, what reason do I have to live if the only man I ever loved, would willingly betray me for a business he at one point claimed he hated so. How easy it was for him to change his mind. He got a taste of complacency, he got a lick of success and he was returned to the man he was before I even subjected my body to him. I am no mans equal...I'm every mans whore. I am their whore in every aspect of the word. I am a prostitute, I have recieved much in return for my promiscuity, and I have compromised...everyt hing...I compromised my own principals and my own beliefs in order to make Bel happy...but he only cares now because, because he feels guilt. Just like Jansen..." ++She is talking to no one and everyone. She's nervous, ashamed, uncertain. Will Blade try and talk her out of this? Will he do something to further her insane state? Will he hurt her? Maim her in the name of Bel? Who can she trust? No one...she's desperate for some arms to reach out and say "come unto me" but who has time for a whore. Nobody. She doesn't blame them. Truth be told she is in mourning clothing. A black linen mourning gown. She has no reason to hide it. She is in mourning. Mourning the loss of her integrity and the loss of the life that Bels lies and his deception took from her++ "It is not suicide when you are already dead. This is murder. Plain, simple, unadulturated murder. Jansen started this, tearing open the wound that was almost completely mended. But his evil was merely pouring the salt in, Bel...Belnard, he is the executioner. He is the one who tore the heart from Jezebel and now stands before me, faultless, watching me die slowly. I refuse to die patiently for all the world to watch and critique, I want death to come quicker. So before my time is through I will end all my worldly business. Tomorrow the day of reckoning comes for Jansen. The trial. He talks of losing his show. That was not my work...I stopped the fight, but he sees what he wants to believe, just as everybody else does." "It's always much easier to assume the innocense and blame the crucified then to put aside ones pride and ask the right questions. But again, it must be my fault. So I will take the blame and drive one more nail into the palm.” “Don't worry Mr. Jansen, you did no wrong last week, you were just doing your job, I deserved it...and you will be free from my reign of unholy terror soon. All will be forgiven come Saturday...I promise." "People see what is going on right now and they roll there eyes, truth is...this has been coming. This was no sudden surge. I have dealt with depression and suicide my whole life. Since I could pick up a knife and use enough strength to cut with it, I have done so. I battled the demons. I still do. Do not let outward appearances fool you. It is easy to live a lie for the public eye when you have been trained to as I have. I was supposed to be perfect in every aspect. I was never supposed to cry. Never supposed to frown. I was to smile with rosy cheeks and be invincible...but I'm not!!" ++She begins to sob and her mascara starts to run, she will look like hell for Blade, but she is uncaring++ "I was never invincible. Strong, yes, but invincible no. I am a woman! I can take the weight of the world on my shoulders, balance checkbooks and do the laundry. I can be a CEO and a Senator. I can birth a child and be back in the office by monday but a womans heart...is the core of her strength. And when that heart gets broken...she isn't as strong anymore. Its so easy to face the world when you're confident and your heart is intact but I'm not confident, not now. Hell I'll probably be the reason we lose Friday and then I really will be a disappointment. Not only am I a woman, but I was a mother, NO I AM a mother and...where do you go from there? I am not afraid, I will say it, I'm not strong enough. Bel was my rock, or so I thought he was. I don't care how independent and self sufficient you are, EVERY woman needs a man behind her. Every drunk CEO is that way not because she's greedy or whining but because she is so self dilluted in presence of mind that she can't put her finger on what it is thats driving her to drink away all she achieved. So she spends her strongest years trying to find it in the bottom of a glass and in files that she doesn't need to look over. I know because I am there, I have been there. I have drunk on the quiet angry at the world but I couldn't tell why, I didn't know myself. I looked for the answer in the ashes of every cigarette I smoked. That is the truth about a woman. No man can ever say I couldn't match up to them in the ring, not even Reno or Loco, they might but they know deep down I can dance, my sex doesn't make me weak, my size, my strength it makes no difference, the basis of every win and loss is not on how well I preform, it's based on my heart...if I fail, if I fall, it is not because I am weak, it is because my heart wasn't in it. But so few understand or are willing too...this is no cry for attention, this is no act, no skit, this, this is why women have drowned their children, this, this is what brought Ted Hughes second common wealth wife to commit suicide and take their child with them. This is what drew Sylvia Plath to take her like the way she did. A broken heart. It is so easy to sit on the outside and look in and say it's all for attention, or I am being silly, but how many of you who persecute me can honestly say you have taken the time to actually sit back and figure out what makes a woman tick? Have any of you ever sat back and saw more then sex? I can answer that for you, no. None of you have. None of you have ever sat back and asked yourself why or how a woman can carry the weight of the world and do it with tender hands, a childlike smile and an abundance of grace. Because you don't care to think about it. But maybe now you will think twice after the groupies are gone. Maybe someone, somewhere, will look at a woman differently and find a new respect for all they endure. This is no cry of sexism, this is no political coo, this is me, attempting to explain exactly what is going on. Can any of you say you saw this coming? If you had been looking, you'd have known. If you had taken the time to understand. This is my last battle cry for change. This is my last hurrah. Many more women will die like I have. Many more human beings will go out just like me and all because of the ignorance. You all say "people who really want to commit suicide never tell", EXACTLY, and yet somehow, someway, people are still ignorant!!! How hard is it to see when somebody isn't who they used to be, and don't hand me that shit about they could be acting well. If you can't tell when someone is trying too hard to hide something you too need to put the shotgun to your head and pull the trigger.” “Nobody believes I am going to do it, not even Bel, I knew they wouldn't and thats fine, it breaks my heart all the more but it is fine. I just want to do one thing right...and I'm hoping this, my final days, are it. I'm hoping somewhere, somebody is inspired to make a change that my death, my sorrow, my pleas will not be in vain, I don't care who it is, I don't care if it's Ludian, Regehr or the janitor, as long as one person listens to me, and thinks about what I've said and feels inspired to make a change, then it will be worth it..." ++The limo pulls to a stop. She has arrived. She feels sick to her stomach. She doesn't even feel human, she doesn't feel human enough to face Blade. She wipes her eyes and hopes the smearing isn't bad. The door opens and a hand protrudes in, in order to help her from the confinds of the modern day carriage, her hand is shaky and pale as she reaches for the assistance++ ++FTB++
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• 50 Cent Avoiding Jail Time for Abuse
14 May 2005 at 8:23pm
(US) SPRINGFIELD, Mass. - 50 Cent will avoid jail time for allegedly trampling two women and punching a third during a concert last year if he stays drug-free and doesn't commit any crimes for two years. The judge ordered Jackson to undergo random drug testing for two years. [$drug_related(85%), $drugwar_propaganda(100%), $propaganda_theme2(50%), $propaganda_theme7(100%), $illegal_drugs(50%), $drugs(90%), $prohibition(85%), $various_drugs(90%), $various_illegal_drugs(50%)]
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• women's poker
14 May 2005 at 7:46pm
Christine writes:I live in the South Florida area. I was just wondering if you knew of any type of Women's Poker Club.Sorry, Christine, I don't know of any South Florida women's poker clubs, and a quick Google search didn't turn up anything. You may want to check out the Women's Poker Network, which is trying to organize the female poker-playing community.
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• Re: Realization
14 May 2005 at 7:37pm
Posted by: Dumb Ruben, yo pienso que nadie es feo por fuera.. acuerdate que la belleza externa se vizlumbra por los ojos de uno y no los otros... y aun me haces rei... por eso digo... just go dance and have fun... it is inside of you and I have fun dancing no matter where I go ... and I know you do the same! Dancing is meant for dancers to have fun! If you forget that you've forgetten the essence of dancing, no matter what style, what music, etc.
It's interesting to note your opinion of SC, I have none!
As for the 5 minute anecdote... that also made me laugh! If that's how they get happy oh well, dice mas de ellos que cualquier otra cosa!!!
Last night I was at Anton's in Oakland and the 6 of us women danced with each other had a blast and then left for another latin venue and danced the night away...
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• Bushism of the week
14 May 2005 at 7:28pm
Just when you thought he couldnÂ’t sound any more oddly unpresidential. Holding court in the East Room of the White House on Friday, the president gave props to four NCCA championship teams: "I also want to welcome the Stanford Women's Volleyball team," Bush remarked. "I was telling the women from Stanford that I was just with Condoleezza Rice, former provost of Stanford University. I said, come by and welcome the homegirls." Copyright: Copyright 2005, Salon.com.
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